The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
