ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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