can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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