apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
