I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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