my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
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What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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