Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
