i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
