But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just gift wrapped bread.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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