I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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