You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize