dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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