I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
