Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
