My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
