OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
