The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
