Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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