so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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