this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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