so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
