Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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