we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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