Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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