Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
