this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My life is pants optional.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
