Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
