Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
