I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
