i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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