the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
