You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
