Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
