Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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