I wannas sexs uuuuu
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
