dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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