Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
one might say we're banned from that church
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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