Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
