saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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