belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
