I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
