Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
