problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
