Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
