How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
