I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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