No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
