I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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