What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
