yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
