No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
