from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
