Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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