I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
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He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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