I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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