i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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