Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
