Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
