The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
