he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
