and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
