Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
