so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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