i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
