Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize