I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
