we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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