i really wish james franco would like my vagina
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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