my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
