So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize